Still Putting Off Your Passions?
‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ is my little mantra for this year. Hence I needed to get my act together and finally figure out how to start a blog in 2020.
To blog or not to blog?
Unsurprisingly one of the biggest hurdles that stops us following our passions, whatever they may be, is fear. Fear that it’s too late, fear of what others think and fear of potential failure.
There are many potential ‘negative’ outcomes from putting yourself out into the world and sharing your thoughts with those who stumble across your little blog space or creative outlet.
Judgement, criticism, exposure, vulnerability, ridicule – yup, they all sound pretty big, hairy and scary.
So for the most part, it’s not that most people don’t know how to start a blog or pursue their passion, it’s that they are afraid to. With everything going on in the world right now especially, fear and doubt can be rampant – along with a feeling of guilt for pursuing anything that brings you joy.
There were a few fears I had to overcome to finally take action and start my blog which may be some of the fears holding you back too.
If you’ve struggled with the same pain of wanting to, but not actually getting your blog or passion off the ground, read on for that extra push to get going and launch yours by remembering the truth when those fears come up.
Cue self-doubt voices.
It’s not too late.
A biggie in the should-I-shouldn’t-I cycle of whether or not to pursue your passion, in my case start a blog in 2020, is that surely it must be too late, right?
This plagued me for so long. Whenever I built the courage to try and go for it, I thought it was pointless because there are already sooo many blogs out there.
When I finally figured out why I wanted to blog, the game changed.
I am doing this for me, because it is who I am, it’s what I enjoy doing. I like sharing my thoughts with others in the hope to leave some modicum of positive impact, joy or encouragement.
Not being myself because other people have been being themselves for longer than me, makes zero logical sense.
It is never too late to be true to yourself. Never too late to be who you want to be.
The answer is in the why – do it for the joy.
There is no time limit or time pressure on having fun. Despite what we are all experiencing globally right now, if you can find joy in anything, you should engage in it. If there is good you can do in the world in any small way that brings you happiness, you should follow it.
Many years in the future, even as I lie in bed ready to take my last breath as a very old black-don’t-crack woman, I hope to be surrounded by people I love. People who make me laugh, who make me smile and people who ensure I have my grey eyebrows pencilled in so that I go off to the other side at my very, very best.
A smile and laugh at that 11th hour is not a smile or laugh too late. It won’t be a laugh in vain; it will be a laugh cherished. All joy counts.
Depriving yourself of joy because you didn’t last year just prolongs that period of missing out. Now is the perfect time to do something you love doing. In a time of despair in the world, what people need is joy, laughter, inspiration, hope.
Yes you may like the same things as other people, and even choose to communicate on the same platform as other people, but your gifts are your own. No one can express them in exactly the same way as you.
There is someone out there who will resonate with a product, a beat, a visual, an expression, that is presented in a way that only you can share in your own specific style.
As my stepdad says in his thick Trini accent; “Every cheese has it’s bread.” (He has a way of saying the most simple, light-hearted statements that seem to make no sense whatsoever, then end up being deeply profound! One of my favourite humans.)
They don’t matter.
Regardless of what you do or what you don’t, people will judge you. Accept that they will.
Who are ‘they’ anyway?
Honestly, ask yourself! When you stop and really think about it, do you actually care about the people whose opinions you are worrying about?
If the answer is yes, do you care enough to prevent yourself from living your one life to its truest, fullest and most satisfying? If so. you must care a hell of a lot.
The people that you know, whether they are for you or not, are in reality such a small group of people. In the grand scheme of life they are a tiny spec in what makes up this expansive earth.
Take a breath and pull your head up for a moment and remember that there is a way bigger audience out there. It’s bigger than those you know.
When I broke it down, and actually identified the ‘they’ that I was afraid of:
“They will think I’m conceited”
“They will think I can’t write.”
“They will think I’m… [fill in personal fear point here]”
The people behind the ‘they’ were people who actually played very little to no role in my life at all. It may not be the case for everyone, but those closest to me, love and accept me. Judgement of whatever I choose to do is not top of their agenda.
If there are people who actually do care about whose judgement you fear, the easiest way to overcome that is to accept them in your heart without judgement. Extend to them the freedom and approval to be themselves that you desire. That which we put out will return to us.
For me, the people who I was worried about, were not the people who I would ever want to call with good news. They were not people I would want to meet up with on a bank holiday. They were not people who knew my siblings names. So to let people who played such an insignificant role in my life, have such a significant impact on my life was crazy. Like, actually bat-shit-crazy.
So I thought; “F-it” and, here I am.
With everything going on an the bigger fish we all have to fry during this time, could now be the time for you to have your “F- it” moment too?
You don’t need permission.
“But I’m not a blogger” has danced through my head way too many a time.
The wait for every single person and institution to come into complete agreement that you are undoubtedly worthy and qualified to start what you want to do – is a long one.
Unless you’re wanting to operate on someone medically or provide any other kind of service that could affect the physical or mental health of someone else that could result in either death, disability or bankruptcy – you’re pretty good on the lack of need for an ok before you go ahead.
The permission you need is gained in the doing. The action. Which is 100% down to you.
A photographer is a photographer because they take photos.
A musician is a musician because they make music.
An actor is an actor because they act.
You are no different.
You do not need to wait for someone to tell you that you’re good enough or tell you that it is ok for you to become who you really are and want to become. You are already that person, just unexplored.
That desire is in you for a reason, it is compass, showing you where you are meant to be and what you are meant to be doing. It lets you know who you really are, uninhibited.
All you have to do is let that real you out through action.
There is nothing more comforting and freeing than being true to yourself. Criticism is actually a lot harder to take when you are pretending to be something you’re not.
The assurance of self you gain, by being yourself and doing what you love, makes you a lot more resilient to the opinions of others. The pay off is so great that any contrast is much more manageable and the sting is a lot less.
Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, you are being true to yourself and there is nothing more secure than that. So pick up that camera, make that beat, write that song and rehearse the script. Then, share it.
It doesn’t matter if it’s shit.
Once again, it goes back to the why. If the why is for the right reason, the success comes simply from the doing.
From being one of the small percentage of people that actually get up and do something, rather than simply talk about it from the safety of inaction or criticise others from the security of obscurity.
Your first post, as well as my first post, may be shit. But in actually writing it and sharing it and writing some more, we can allow ourselves to grow and evolve and get better. Or, we can stay shit through inaction.
Redefine success and set some new KPI’s. Let a good result be: personal fulfilment, personal joy, personal growth.
If other people enjoy and benefit from it as well in the process, well that is an added benefit. But your success is first simply in the doing, being true to yourself and doing what you love.
There can be a lot of external pressure to seek validation from numbers, but start measuring pleasure alone and then cross the metrics bridge as and when you get there if that is your ambition.
For now, grab a pen and a post-it and write down in big fat letters: Blog/passion success KPI #1: Doing it.
Nothing is too hard.
“And when you want something all of the universe conspires in helping you achieve it” – that is a quote from one of my absolute favourite, make-my-heart-sing-books, The Alchemist, and it is so very accurate. Once you acknowledge your desire and begin to move, doors will begin to open and momentum will build.
For real, God and the universe actually has your back.
You are not alone, the laws of the universe are working in your favour to bring you your desired outcome.
What you want to do and achieve is doable. There are so many examples of this all around and so many people who are proof of having figured it out. As one of my inspirations Marie Forleo says. “Everything is figureoutable.”
Yes the internet can be a bit of an ugly place, with anonymous writers able to say harsh words and spread negativity. However, more powerful than that, is the reality that at the same time, those who are for you will be drawn to you.
It may be hard and lonely at times but you will find your tribe doing what you love, you will connect to like-minded people and kindred spirits, so don’t get in your own way. Step aside, make a move forward, and allow the good to flow.
It may be difficult to hear negativity, what helped me in this area was caring more about what I and God think of myself than anyone else.
We can overcome negative comments by reminding ourselves of our truth. We can grow and improve as creatives even if we start off rusty because we’ll embark on journey and gain experience.
Regret over not doing what you really want to do, is a pain that will stick to you relentlessly. Once again it can only be eliminated through one antidote; action.
Watching the world live their lives and express themselves in whatever way they choose while you sit back and stay in a box to avoid hard work or negative opinion from others is not a life well lived. For me that became far worse than any punishment ‘failure’ could inflict.
The scariest part, is not doing it.
If you’re still needing external permission from the outside world, here it is: Permission granted.
I’m here in the same world, breathing the same air and rooting for you with all of me and sending you through these words all of the highest vibrations to flow over you.
I pray that energy will kick start that momentum for you to share your passion with the world.
Stop depriving us, we’re out here waiting to hear what you have to say, interested in seeing what you want to create- so get sharing!
We’re waiting and rooting for you.